Thursday, July 30, 2009

He Blogs, She Blogs: Fix-It Edition

Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy: The Female

This week, I e-mailed Captain Dumbass and told him that my brain was fried and I was leaving it up to him to choose this week's topic. Luckily, Supreme Leader stepped up to the plate and made a superb selection.

When good electronics go bad.

In other words, when the gadgets, gizmos and electronic toys in the house break, how do we deal with it? Me? This is how I deal with it:


And then he comes running, plays around with it for a few minutes, fiddles with things and gets frustrated. Meanwhile I get the instruction manual and start suggesting that he take a look at the troubleshooting section as he waves me off, swearing and wielding a screwdriver.

You don't mess with a guy with a screwdriver.

So after a lot more swearing, throwing of various household items and possibly some blood, usually he agrees to try the stuff that I have read about in the manual, which of course, usually works.

You're welcome.

What would men do without us?

In the off chance that the item is broken for good and there is no resuscitating it, then comes the big decision of replacing it. This is where the major challenge comes in. I belong to the camp of "let's go to the store, check out what there is and buy what seems reasonable and suits our needs." He is more of the "painstakingly research every brand and model from every retailer that's out there and after weeks of deliberating and nickle and diming, choose an item that I probably would have chosen in the first place." But you know, we saved $4.99 by waiting until it went on sale, so it was all worth it. Riiiiiiiiight...

I guess I should be grateful that my husband isn't one of those men who gets all glassy eyed and mentally retarded upon entering a Best Buy, and I never have to worry about him surprising me by coming home with an XBox 360 impulse buy or by collecting mp3 players and various other gadgets to the detriment of our savings account. And really, he is rather handy with a screwdriver, so who am I to complain?

But I really think he should just read the manual and save us all the hassle. Just sayin.'

Chad a.k.a "Glassy-eyed Captain Dumbass": the male

Oh, Best Buy... how I love thee. What? So, when electronics go bad? Can't imagine why Supreme Leader would choose that topic when I asked her what we should write about this week. Or how she came up with it so quickly. I am the poster child of patience. Really. Except when things don't work.

I belong to the camp of "shit should just work." Period. I lose it when things start acting up. Like cross-eyed, spitting demon fire lose it. First step when something starts acting wonky? Swear at it profusely. Demean in in every possible way. I don't care if it's an inanimate object, I'm goin to town on it's ass, and it knows it. As long as the kids aren't around. Second step? As fun as smacking it would be, if it's electronics it all depends on it's dollar value and general importance. As much as I would have liked to whack my computer at the beginning of the month when it started working in super slo-mo, we can't afford a new one. And really, it's old. Computer wise, really old so I kinda feel sorry for it. Because of that I chose to aim my fury at my internet provider, 'cause come on, they're always guilty. Oh, and Steve Jobs for charging so damn much for his computers. Yes, Mac's are totally worth it, but come on Apple, your market share would be a lot larger if you could drop your prices a tad.

Where was I? Right. Violence. Camera? I can pretend to throw it when it's not working right, but then I wouldn't have a camera. DVR? If I didn't have to get under the tv to unplug that damn thing I'd be skipping it down the front street like a flat rock on water. Cell phone? Effing contract. Luckily things don't usually get this far. Supreme Leader usually steps in well before this, probably because she doesn't want to listen to me bitch, and fixes whatever's wrong. Whether by reading the manual or taking the time to look something up on the internet or making a phone call. And since we're rolling into our 13th year of marriage she doesn't even bother to talk to me about it, just tells me to get out of the way. Ah, love.

I came home with an Xbox once.

And finally, if you came here from my Bait & Switch post over on my blog:

*try to ignore the girlie shopping bag*


  1. Oh, come on now, Captain, we know you just found that bag laying on the ground and you were just taking it to the trash can, like a good citizen should.

    I'm with you, shit should just work. When my computer works as well as my toaster, that will be a happy day!

  2. My husband is of the mind-set that nothing ever really breaks. It's just waiting for him to fix it!

  3. So Xbox AND wiggly dicks ...sounds like a party! LMAO

  4. Argh, the painstaking research!!!

    It must be the caveman instinct - they enjoy the hunt? Explains why I just want to gather the damn thing and move on with our lives.

  5. OH MY HEAVENS!!! You wore the wiggly dick shirt in public? I just thought you would put it on in your house!!

    My husband wears some of his crude "work uniform" tshirts out in public too. He works at the headquarters for Abercrombie. We have a big ol pile of crude shirts. Folks do kinda look at our family in public because we all have on one of the shirts. We get a great discount on the clothes.

    Anyway.... interesting that in both houses everyone pitches in to try to fix the broken toys. We also do this at our house. Team effort!!

  6. I LOVE wiggly dicks. I mean Wiggly Dicks! Petra, that is SOOOOOO how it works in my house, except that Gray does not get angry or sweary or smacky. He's perfectly content just fiddling with something for hours if it's not working correctly. I, on the other hand, am not. I'm the sweary one, but I'm also the one with the sense to read the manual. I win.

  7. Our cars go to the mechanic for the simplest repairs. I call Handy Jeff if I even want to hang a picture or paint a room. But my computer? ALWAYS works. I love being married to an IT guy. He actually reads the manual, on his own, before he even gets the thing out of the box! Okay, that sounded vaguely dirty. Must be the anesthesia talking.

    Oh, and the Captain's Wiggly Dicks (shirt) looks great! I swear there really is such a place. They sponsored a parade float in the Harbor Springs 4th of July celebration, and right away, I knew where I had to go for the shirt.

  8. I have to say both of these where fun and well written on both sides. I very much enjoyed reading this. Both of you made me laugh....
    "I don't care if it's an inanimate object, I'm goin to town on it's ass,"
    This was a great line. lol...
    Pet: I feel like i am much more composed than you indicate. But thats ok it was funny. :)
    Petra Husband

  9. I always call John when something breaks, even if he's out of town. His manhood should be able to reach through that phone and take care of it, electronics, wonky A/C, killing spiders..

  10. your post inspired a post of my own.

    Wiggly Dicks and girly bags? Captain, you're just settin' 'em up and so we can keep knockin' 'em down!

    PS, what's your gamertag for XBox Live? Mr. B needs cool friends to shoot things with

  11. Waht's a Wiggly Dick T-shirt without the girly shopping bag?

  12. For the record, the bag was full of colouring books and toys. We'd just been out for breakfast with the kids. The waitresses loved my shirt.

    If not for the heat wave and forest fire haze, the mountains in the background would have shown up better.

  13. Right, coloring books and toys...I'm SURE that was what was in the girly bag. :)

    Electronics may cause a divorce in our home. His inability to stop puttering with them constantly in an effort to upgrade when it's not broken and my complete and total refusal to learn the system resulting in new shiny system being broken. Viscious circle we have going.

  14. You wore the shirt. Hehe looks great! I still think that's the funniest.

    I'm in the Captain Dumbass camp on this one. I'll swear it up and down and cures it anyway I can till it gets it together and does what I want it to do. Then Hubby steps in and gives us both a sedative and by the time I wake up, it's fixed.

    I do agree with Petra on the Best Buy thing. What woman would EVER let a man alone in that store with any form of money?

  15. I love the shirt...and I hate when shit breaks.

  16. I have found that smacking electronics against something works more often than one would think. That, and replacing the batteries.

  17. The biggest problem for me is that I am just supposed to "know" how to fix it— especially if it is the computer. Yes, friends I work with computers and know enough to be dangerous. This is why when I do fix it and try to explain to my now panicky spouse she just waves it off with a deer in the headlights look and says not to explain it… just tell me it's fixed.

  18. I am SO lucky that Tighwad can fix anything. ANYTHING!!!

    It kind of makes up for him being a tightwad.

    Kind of.

  19. I hate when stuff breaks but it always does. Stuff sucks. I have a bad temper.

  20. I'm of the make it keep working even if it doesn't work moto.
    That's why my kids think that some people have colorful t.v.'s while our shows are always blue!

  21. I'm the one that fixes the electronics in our house (go figure) and Trent is the glass eyed type at Best Buy. I'm like... why are we going there... he's like, why not?

    That t-shirt is too funny!!

  22. I am the unofficial IT department not only for our house, but for my husband's office.

    Don't even have a computer degree. Or experience. Just the only one who doesn't approach any computer problem by pounding on the monitor.

  23. Petra - I love that your hubby does all the research, and then buy the one you recommended. I think most men do that. And $4.99 is a lot, ya know!? Ha! I've learned to start fixing things myself.

    Captain - Hitting and swearing at inanimate objects is strangely gratifying! I totally understand.

  24. My boyfriend was trying to set up a new audio receiver last night and I just stayed out of the way. I finally fell asleep...when men get started on something they DO NOT want to stop...even as it heads toward midnight and somebody has to be up the next morning at 6 a.m.

  25. What happened to your blog? Is everyone ok?

  26. LOL this is hiliarous
    why arent you guys posting anymore:(

  27. HILARIOUS!! You should take this show in the road!

  28. What is it about gadgets and guys? Whenever a gadget goes crazy at home, the first recourse would be to get any adult male family member off his football game or computer and have them fix it right away. However, in an effort to find what is wrong, they end up dismantling the whole thing and unable to put it back(let alone troubleshoot it)!Not a tekkie myself, I have always suggested taking the gadget to the repair shop and has been ignored ever since.

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